an update here and there and everywhere

I’ve had a pretty fantastic summer. I spent most of my time writing, which I can do because I’m childless at the moment. ;) In July, I finished the first draft of Code Red, and now I’m busy rewriting the beginning. I’m super stoked about it, and hope to have a revised draft by October. It’ll be hard since next Monday I start my last year in the paralegal program (!!!) but most definitely not my last year of college, unfortunately. ;)

Also, yesterday my friend and I went downtown and to the river and took some pictures that I think turned out excellent. Which one is your favorite? My favorite two are the super woman and photo three.

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photo one: on top of the parking garage

 

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photo two: we’re still on top of the parking garage–also I’m calling this one “super woman.”

 

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photo three: I love this one, even though it was super uncomfortable sitting on the tree knot.

 

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photo four: still on the parking garage. I love that the mountains are in the background of most of these pictures.

 

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photo five: by the river! I was standing on a rock in the river and was terrified I was going to fall in.

 

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photo six: she told me to take off my shoes and get in the river, so I did. It was cold. I made her carry me to a bench so I wouldn’t get sand on my feet :D

 

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photo seven: I like this one because of the shoes.

 

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photo eight: and we’re back in the tree. funny thing: it started raining when we were at the wooded area by the river. So it was raining and windy when we took the tree pictures, but I still think they came out okay.

my misadventures in cooking

so last night, I decided to make steak and fries and corn for dinner. it’s simple, right? it sounded delicious and I was like YES, I CAN DO THIS.

please note, I am not the cooking type. my mother is very much the cooking and baking type. she spends at least half of her free time cooking or baking and I would much rather bury my nose in a book. ALSO I so do not follow directions very well. so every time I cook, something happens. although I’ve (maybe?) been getting better at this whole domesticated thing, because sometimes I can pull off a dinner without something terrible happening.

last night, I pulled the bag of corn out of the freezer and poured a little bit into the pot on the stove. there’s two of us, we don’t eat a whole lot. okay, I don’t eat a whole lot. J does.

then I preceded to put cold water over the corn. I didn’t even think about that it was cold. I thought, hey, this corn has no water added to it (like a can of corn does). Doesn’t it need water to warm up? BOOM, here have some of the water I pulled from the fridge a few minutes ago and am drinking.

Guys. All the corn in the pot FROZE into one big block. And I froze, too.

That’s not so bad, right? I mean, I’ve lit the stove on fire while I was trying to bake potatoes. I’ve set off the smoke alarm (I’m not entirely sure HOW I did that, because this was prior to setting the stove on fire and that didn’t set off the smoke alarm. I KNOW.) Turning corn into a frozen block isn’t the worst thing to happen to me.

but still, it’s a simple meal and I still had something go wrong.

I thought you should know this because I find it hilarious after I panicked. everybody needs a laugh on Tuesday, right?

also, writing wise: I am less than 150 words from 25,000. which is EXCITING and also was yesterday’s goal. so in addition to hitting 25,000 today, I also want to reach 25,500 words today. (It’s J’s day off and he is very, very distracting in the whole “I need you to pay attention to me” way. But I still love him.)

make progress

time is a strange thing. sometimes it goes by quickly, sometimes minutes tick by so slowly that you swear the clock is broken and it’s really 5 o’clock, not 2:11. anyway, back in april, I said I was going to have a shitty first draft by the end of May and I was going to be happy with it. ha. ha. ha.

that was a lie. well, it wasn’t at the time, but it is now.

I’m still slowly working on Code Red. I have 21,000 words, which I’m thinking I’m about 1/3 into the draft. my other six (seven? I don’t really count them anymore. just like I don’t really count the years, or days. who cares?) manuscripts’ first drafts all came around 50,000 (my shortest being 40,000 and my longest 56,000) and in the beginning, I was aiming for 70,000 first draft. now the aim is somewhere between 60,000-70,000.

but hey, it’s PROGRESS.

my may goal was to write every day, which I did for three (non-consecutive) weeks. I skipped 7 days of writing in may, which hey, I like those numbers. for june, I changed it to 750 words a day. which I thought was a good goal until I missed every single day except for june 15, 16, 17.

so I’ve changed it back to “write every day” or “make progress.” as long as I’m working on Code Red every day, I call that day a win. and I’m going to document my progress on this here blog, just so I’m being accountable somewhere. I already am a little bit accountable in my own life (my boyfriend is amazingly supportive of this crazy journey and I love him oh so much because of it) but I don’t talk a whole lot about my word count progress (or pages; depends on the day) so I will here. maybe then I’ll see all the progress that’s happening.

april 1, 2013

wow. 

um. 

*coughs* *dusts off blog* 

I told myself back in December when January, and 2013, were coming around that I was going to blog. do the standard resolution post. and then the first week of January came and went, and the second week, then spring semester started… 

and needless to say, I’ve been hiding. from the Internet. I haven’t been on Twitter and Facebook like I used to be; I checked my email once a day then hid again. hiding because I feel like I’m failing the writing community (haha) by not writing (haha). I’m just a nobody. nobody cares about me. 

(that’s false; people care. but, I’m still a nobody in the writing community which is totally okay.) 

it’s taken me four months to get the courage to write. I’m afraid of failing. I’m afraid of writing a sucky first draft. I like perfection. I strive for it. so it’s hard for me to think, “yes, I can probably fix this but I AM GOING TO GO FORWARD INSTEAD.” (backwards. I write backwards.) 

so here I am. it’s April 1. (a day I hate; I am already paranoid that people are pranking me, why is there a day FOR pranks?) I’m writing again. I’m trying not to think, “holy shitballs this thing SUCKS.” 

because it does, but I can’t fix it yet. not yet. 

also, the best news? I’m going part-time in the fall. getting a degree is my plan b, it always has been. it’s my safety net for when (if) I fail at this writing thing. so I need to get a degree.

but I also need to work on plan a: write a book. write a decent book. revise the shit out of that book. get an agent. sell a book. go through the publishing process with that book. sell another one and another one and another one, etc. 

so it’s April 1. it’s a new month. I have five weeks left of this semester. do I have a lot of work ahead of me? oh hell yeah. but I also plan on having a first draft done in two months.  goddamn am I going to be busy. and goddamn am I probably going to hate myself by the end of this semester.

but I’m writing and I have that itch to write. I’m happy. yesterday I didn’t write at all (I did homework while J was at work, then we went on a hike.) and felt so guilty. which, hey, that’s a good sign. I hope to keep this up. 

a new month. I have a fresh start. I can and will write every day. I don’t need a word limit, since I have time limits (between classes, before work, etc.) as long as I get words down on the page, I’m happy. 

and by the end of May, I should have a really sucky first draft. and I’ll be happy with it, damnit. 

the past year

I’ve . . . had a few problems this past year. Namely: I’ve been in a writing slunk. I was going through my old tweets (because, well, I was bored and it was JUST THERE. I kept scrolling and scrolling and whatever.) and I could FEEL the passion coming off of the screen. I would say things like “another 3k down for the day! bedtime!” or: “I need to write another thousand words before bed . . .” or: “I write 3k every day, and I do mean every day. I MUST have 3k words every day.” (that last one was to someone.)

You see, I used to be so dedicated. I would write 2 1/2 manuscripts a year. Multiple short stories. LOTS LOTS LOTS of flash fiction (think a thousand words or fewer.) I’ve been writing since 2007–almost five years! and this year I just stopped writing.

It was really hard for me to write and finish that YA fantasy. I’ve been working on Code Red and wanted it to done this year, but I think I have 10k and I just don’t even know about it anymore. I LOVE it, but I don’t. I don’t feel the urge to sit down and write and write and write. In fact, for the longest time, I thought I couldn’t write anymore. That I used it all up in those past manuscripts and now, nothing.

Which is why I was flipping back and forth on whether or not to do NaNoWriMo. You see, I love it. It’s how I wrote my first manuscript. But I was so, so afraid (still am) that I’ll write about 10k words and stop.

Instead of working on Code Red, I switched it up. Big time. Different genre, different voice. Completely different from what I usually write, but still very me.  Seducing the Art is a contemporary novel about a torrid affair, an unwanted pregnancy, and the decisions an art student must face about the pregnancy. And I hope, hope, hope I finish it.

Also: yes I am doing NaNoWriMo. I started yesterday. I always was a rebel child. Friend me?

NaNoWriMo word count: 2840

words left to write: 47,160

today’s goal: 5,000

on heartbreak and writing

It’s Tuesday, and I’ve decided to blog on Tuesdays. Except this morning, at 7:03 exact, I thought: what am I going to blog about? I shrugged it off, saying “I have multiple unfinished drafts. I’ll just pick one,” and went off to math. Except I’m not posting one of those drafts today. Maybe next week.

I write romance. I’ve only written one (ONE) manuscript where there really wasn’t a romance novel, but the other six there’s a romance. I don’t write it to RWA’s standards (“must have a happily ever after”) but in my definition, I do.

Yet I haven’t been writing. The last time I wrote was almost two weeks ago. Guys, this paralegal program is HARD and it’s going to kill me. It really is. If I survive–and write a few books–I’ll be golden. But I doubt I will survive, so hm.

What is the point of this post? Oh yeah. I write romance, I haven’t been writing, and now I’m talking about heartbreak. Because I’m going through it right now. The funny thing, though, was on Saturday I pulled up my manuscript–before all the shit went down, yet I had a feeling it would go down bad and fast–and read over the chapters I had already written. And guys, that little spark of almost heartbreak got me to look at my WIP.

And now, it’s Tuesday, it’s 8:48 AM as I write this, and I don’t have class until 10. Sure, I have homework I could do, but I think I’m going to write. I’m going to fall in love with the characters and the romance that’s happening, because it’s still new and shiny and everybody is in love. I’m not. I don’t get that honeymoon period. While I think there’s some sick part of me, because wouldn’t I want to AVOID anything lovey-dovey? (last night my friend and I watched a romance comedy and I nearly started CRYING at the end when the guy and girl got together.) There’s a part of me that is avoiding all things romance, except for my manuscript.

I am a strange one. Or it could be I know how their relationship is going to end in this manuscript, and it’s not exactly pretty, so . . . an upside? ;)

mood: heartache

listening to: rehab – rihanna